I try to avoid linking to The New Yorker for obvious reasons (I was one–shh!), but this will be worth it since it finally solves what was possibly my first (apparently formative) experience with conspiracy theories: the Halloween UNICEF boxes! (no usable anchors in the page, so scroll to item II)

SERVANT: No, sir, of course not! We just gave them the boxes and told them to collect for UNICEF. We said it was for “a good cause,” but we didn’t get any more specific than that.

UNICEF: Ha ha ha! Those fools! Soon I will have all the money in the world. For I am UNICEF, evil king of Halloween!