Technology Really Can Solve All Our Problems

If I’m reading this right, the EU parliament wants to ban “skinny mirrors.” While I’m glad to see the EU get on its feet and join the world community of utterly ineffectual legislative bodies who only seem to be able to agree on the totally trivial, I can’t imagine why they would be against skinny mirrors.

And apparently HP offers a digicam with “skinny mode.” That’s just obvious. I’m thinking let’s take it to the next level. Skinny glasses. Skinny contacts. Skinny windshields. Skinny fish tanks (because really, do you want your Siamese fighting fish to see how fat you are dancing around naked to Moby?).

And the best part about the skinny mirror (and possibly other Skinny® brand technologies) is that it makes really skinny people disappear. Like the vampires they are.

4 thoughts on “Technology Really Can Solve All Our Problems”

  1. You’re not reading it right.

    The EU humoured a crazy man by saying “refer it to your local government” despite the store already denying his accusations of “skinny mirrors”.

    Kilroy-Silk is a well-known loon.

  2. What makes poking fun at the EU so fulfilling is that it often results in that rarest form of joke: that which attempts to explain actually make funnier. In this case, what Kilroy-Silk (that absolutely cannot be his real name, can it? Sound like a noir romance pen name) seems to be pointing out is that with all the thousands of pages of crazy crap embodied in the EU’s trade regulations, there must be something about the maximum allowable aspect differential for shop mirrors. Sort of going by the million monkeys-million typewriters theory.

  3. Sounds like someone is fattening up for winter… in spring.

    Skinny people (particularly those with genetic and lifestyle predispositions to such status) are only vampires in the sense that they suck away your self-esteem.

    Fatty McTubs.

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