Penguin’s massively collaborative novel experiment–A Million Penguins–seems to be off to a rocky start. It’s a wiki, so it could easily self-improve at any moment, but I wouldn’t count on it. Right now it’s execrable. I mean truly ghastly.

“Big Tony,” a voice said, “There’s a call for you.”

Big Tony carefully put down his cards and looked at the bartender, slightly raising his left eyebrow. “For you? But everyone knows not to call me here?”

“They’re calling your mobile – how would they know where you at?”

“Of course,” said Tony, nodding meaningfully as he took the cell phone out of his pocket. He might be “mean and dumb as a man can come” but he was also a little slow.

“Hello” said the voice on the phone, “Is that Huge Tony?”

“No, this is Big Tony.”

“Sorry – wrong Tony.”

I know, rather than complain I could simply edit it. In fact, just snipping it out like this makes it sound slightly funny–like maybe it’s trying to be a little madcap and ironic. It’s not.

Start editing this? Might as well piss in the ocean on a rainy day.