I’ll omit names to protect… well, me, from litigation… and this way you can all assume its your programmer… or maybe there’s no programmer at all and it’s the universal programmer speaking forth through anonymous code, did you ever think of that?… but one of the many projects I’m working on this week involves some legacy code from a previous programmer (don’t they all!). I used to get really worked up about other people’s coding practices, but now my mantra is “get in, get the job done, get out.” (This has especially softened the blow of looking back at my own code, which this is not an example of.) It also makes for a nice starting perspective, so that when I come across code like what you see here it’s simply hilarious. I laughed out loud, at a terminal window–okay, that’s a little disturbing. But thanks, Bitter, Sarcastic Programmer, I really needed that today!