I Am a Spinning Class of One

bikeSo, today was yet another rededication to my fitness and exercise regimen. The difference is that this time I’m actually admitting it to someone other than just myself. Yes you, fair reader.

I have a pretty poor track record for accomplishing anything once I tell people about it, but then I have a pretty poor track record for accomplishing the things I don’t tell anyone I’m doing—you just don’t hear about those. The good news is, anyone who reads this post is either well aware of what a procrastinator and slacker I am or they got here via a google search for porn and aren’t going to give a shit. Okay, I’ll face it, either way they’re probably not going to give a shit.

So, here’s a mini fitness blog entry, summary, manifesto, whatever, or as close as I’m likely to get, for all those who do or don’t care: The only metric I’m worried about right now is weight. I’m at 235 pounds. My target weight is 205, at which point I will see how I feel about it. I’m willing to go lower if necessary, even if it’s just to make 205 my panic weight (the weight, which if I hit it, forces me out of maintenance mode and back into aggressive-loss mode). This is also, coincidently, the weight my doctor wants to see me at. So this will probably also be a logical point at which to get all my other weight-related health stuff checked. I’m not even going to get into waist or other measurements because they’re just too embarrassing, and frankly I don’t care. I know for a fact that if I do everything I have to do to get to my target weight, everything else will fall in line simply because I will have been doing aggressive diet and exercise. You don’t lose 30 pounds by accident—sure, skip a meal, forget to drink water and do something strenuous for a few hours and you can accidentally lose two or three pounds, but not 30.

Okay, so let’s do specifics. I’m back on the low-carb wagon starting yesterday. That’s not as painful or hard-core as it sounds. I can reach something of a mental and physiological balance on this pretty quickly as long as I can keep getting myself to swallow a half a pound of chicken in some form every day. I even managed to run out of and not buy more beer today, so that always helps kick-start the low-carb induction. And then of course there’s eggs and salads and broccoli and nuts. So I’m not starving over here (though, to lose weight, I pretty much literally am starving, in the short term).

In terms of exercise, good weather was my friend for the early part of the week. A four-mile plus walk on Monday and almost an hour of biking today have kick started the cardio. I also did some quick curls and pushups to failure today just to give my upper body something to chew on before it starts getting its ass kicked at…

That’s right, the gym. I know me, and Austin weather, and this streak is not going to continue. And it wouldn’t be enough even if it did. I am going to have to suck it up and re-join a gym, which I’ve been putting off for enough months now to almost be easier to specify in years. I hate the gym. I hate the concept of it, and I inevitably come to hate the fact of it after going for a few months, but every mind game and roll play I’ve run with myself indicates that it is simply the only long-term solution for me. And I mean long-term. Like if I don’t do this, I might die sooner rather than later, and not very happy at that. So, I need to make the rounds and see what I can come up with on that front. I have three options: Powerhouse, 24-Hour and Gold’s. I’ll hit the first two, which are distinctly closer to my house, and see if I can find a plan I like. I used to belong to 24-Hour and quit, so they have something of an uphill battle to win back my loyalty, and yet they are also the devil I know. And I have a feeling they’re going to be cheaper than the ritzy-looking Powerhouse. So let’s say tentatively that I’ll start that search on Thursday, since I’ll at least be getting free workouts out of the deal.

Maybe when I start to have some success at this again I’ll come back with some loftier goals, something that speaks to actual fitness and not just panic weight loss and the battle against decrepitude. But don’t hold your breath. Especially when you’re on the treadmill.

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