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Scientists to The World: Two Billion Must Die

Like a bunch of real-life Rip Van Winkles, the scientific community has awoken from a 20-year slumber and come to the conclusion that the world has two billion more humans than it can possibly support. And while a phrase like “the scientific community” is often a euphemism for “some guy at a liberal arts college in Oregon” in this case we’re actually talking about “388 scientists reviewed by roughly 1,000 of their peers.” As far as scientists go, I think that’s pretty much all of them.

Speaking of which, have you seen Al Gore’s new business card?

I told you so